how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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