Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dignity is for republicans.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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