a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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