I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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