So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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