seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
