Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
