I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
