I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
