I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
