I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
