I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
