I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
