i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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