yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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