Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
