I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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