my mouth tastes like poor choices
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
