Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
