maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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