Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
