I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
