The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
