Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
