she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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