What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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