Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
