I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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