like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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