I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
