Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
