is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
