i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
