the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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