I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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