My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
