I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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