We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
