Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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