I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
