There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
