Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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