What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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