I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
