eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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