pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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