I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
