arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
