he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
