I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just googled if crying burns calories
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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