He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
