i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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