Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
