I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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